there are hypocrites and there are idiots

there are SUVs and luxury sedans occupied by them, one per airbag

66% of inhabitants of the traffic jam might be either/or



they are being filmed before as a live studio audience

and they are skivvie stuck on their $899 couches



they are quietly fuming beneath the Fox News ticker

and their neck muscles are spasmodically jerking



they are running off to smoke 15986 butts a year

and they are running their asses off on the treadmill

behind broken plate grins



they are ogling your ass

hating your ass

scheming on your ass

and breaking your ass

in two



they are running your fucking country

running your row in the cube galleys

running your debt

running their mouths behind your back and beneath your nose

wittingly half-ashing in your runny Super Slam breakfast as it lukewarms in the window

cutting you off in traffic

coming unwound in the left lane



or else she is trying to get you off into her mouth

but you can't get there



or her roomate is standing in the kitchen eyeing you

with that particular quality of contempt

that lets you know that she's been fucking

someone else



the litmus test is a categorical absence of shame



now look, over there:



Bingo