i am not one to throw around cliched mindlessly juvenile terms such as "gay" and "retarded" to describe the events of the day up in this bitch



but today, after the "Halloween Parade" and attendant fanfare



i am prepared to make a god damned fucking exception

it will be a day

much like any



much like today



except the big news

will be that they have arrived



and no one

will ever look at sunlight

in quite the same way



ever again

Context is the key to everything.



Everything must be viewed in context.

I'm listening to Paul Simon's The Rhythm of The Saints on my headphones this morning.



I am getting drawn back into the feeling of 13 years ago this morning.



That is seeming like a long time ago this morning.



What's worse than not having a brother is missing someone like he's one.

Look at all of them. He stepped up onto the fountain, just staring for a while - staring out at all of them. Homeless kids, junkies, drunks. They began to congregate there by him in the park. He had no idea what he should tell them, how he could possibly help them. Finally he began to speak:



God as we can all clearly see is not around here. He's MIA. But poor as you are you can still see Him, can't you? Don't be sad. Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth. Be righteous. Be kind and pure. As you are. I call you the children of God. Even as they come to beat you down, perhaps to kill you, still I see you in God. You are blessed when they curse you, spit on your name, talk shit against you. You are blessed. I will be with you. You're not the first, and you won't be the last, but be glad. Know it: you're going to win out in the end. You guys are the salt of the earth. You're good for something. But look around you. Salt gone bad is good for nothing, it gets thrown away, gets stepped on by people. So you be bright light in the world. A city on a hill can't be hid. Don't hide your light either, but raise it up - yes, raise those lighters! And give light to everyone in the house, let it shine out so others can see how good it is! And glorify God. You know where he is. Not here, right. I'm not here to bust your head or your beliefs, I'm not here to play Jesus or Buddha. I'm not trying to do anything bad. I just want to help. But I'm telling you: until the fucking Apocalypse really does come down on us, you, me, them, all of us - we're all on call. Shit we do now...everyone is going to be accountable some time down the road. There will be a reckoning. So check yourself. And set a good example. Try not to fuck up, especially if you're in a position to set an example. Try to do the right thing. God don't like ugly, and if you are ugly in your actions toward other people - toward anyone - God is not going to have you. The people who are running this shit talk a good game, but they're faking it. But don't worry about them. God will take care of them too. They used to say, Thou shalt not kill. There was a reason for that. I'm telling you, if you're angry with your brothers and sisters now for no reason, you're going to be in danger. It's like, call someone a fool and go to hell. If you bring your gift to church and start thinking about everything the world owes you, forget it. Leave your gift at the altar, go away and make things right with people. Agree with your adversaries quickly, as soon as you meet them. It's not going to matter later, so surrender all that bullshit now. Yes we are awash in bullshit, a tidal wave of bullshit, but you give up yours, because yours is the weight that is going to drag you down in the end. Be pure, try to be pure in everything. Don't get obsessed with sex and relationships. Get over yourselves! Find someone good and stick with them...

if crying were money



The fabled room

now revealed:

a kennel.



And all the letters written here:

dry policies,

strictures



like worthless

old

people.



The picture of you lithe among snow pines remains intact



as the lie

of singing

in lands



far from the cage.

I sit sipping

the mysteries of



oil and water,

blood.

Low on kindness,



out of time

the means



I did it for the vacancy,

got greased



again and again.

For the walls inside,



aging blood

retains one kiss -



one.

Hi long ago me on a curb,



freshly punched outside a bar.

Someone screamed,



someone yelled no.

I said, I'll go to Texas



if it'll get me back

inside you. I drove



to New York instead

and bought you a black hat &



black knit gloves

from blind vendor on Sixth



below the Garden.

His



breath was white

and then



my fear

was.



3 years later,

I was back



in the slaughter.

My skin fed the cold air.



(Did I come

from you?)

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

hack a jack-o-lantern

face in the musty

fruit of life



better work fast

your mind

is the knife

Band Names For The Ages



Moo Goo Gai Pan



All Your World Series Are Belong To Us



The Grady Little Implosion



I Wonder If There Is Cat In This Chinee Food



Have A Ball, Have An Amputation, Amputate Your Balls, I Don't Give A Fuck



MetallicanIpleasehaveacheeseburger



That Piece Of Crap You're Standing On Is Earth



Shave It Like A Bonsai Mabel



Pigs In Cubicles



Cigs In Pubicles



Four Hour Sleep No Good Must Go Get Drunk Leave Work Claim I'm Sick Yeap

they are evil and I can't figure it

except it's a fucked age

and the shit happens

and people die

but not in baseball

only dreams

strange ramblings in the shower

the old mental patient thinks back



even the sane times now

are tinged with his manic

seed,



the gift

that keeps on

whipping

I need some space



this used to be a likely thing



to say in a relationship



or else have it said to you



but now I say it



over and over again



to myself,



giving the rebuke



and eating it too

i ain't goin nowhere

and I don't want to either



except maybe the mountains

with you



(but not if we're fighting)

look there goes that guy

what were all those other years for



If I only I could spend all day in the libary again

yeh

there I would be

the reverse Gregor Samsa is a move I favor



and in that good night where wine flowed and mingled with Beck's Oktoberfest,

I fell to the earth, the earth dealt me a blow to my right oblique. My good dog

stood by as witness. I later denied culpability. And vowed to mend back stronger

than I'd come



television is surreal. and still the reason I think I require greenery. then I cut it off

and was faced with my own basement's gloom. I repaired into its recesses for clothes.

I realized I'd been something too nice lately. That I'm more productive when mean.

If I could temper the meanness. If I could save it from drink



and some asshole in Harlem has been keeping a Bengal tiger in his apartment

and when I saw it full grown I said this is like a parable for some artist and then I said

fuck it the culture's already in shambles let it be me

I would like to be out there with the Pearson DiamondBack VX



Cold now at dawn

and one wonders

if we're bound



for an early frost.



Early mornings

at least some men

lurk in the woods



with bows,

scoping edges,



looming near

corners



in treestands,



watching.



Waiting for deer.



The deer are prey

though subject

to ritual.



Animal ceremonialism,

the quest for spiritual power.



Annual ceremony of cosmic rejuvenation.



The Supreme Being.



Few stationary cult places,



shamanism,

life after death

beyond the horizon



or in the sky.



And

Aldo Leopold said



optimal variety and density

in life



most often obtains

along the edges.



By definition, an edge is the intersection of two different habitat types.



Guess where I am this morning.



Perhaps you're there too.