the device came to him first as a notion, a possibility, a wish

the device first came to him in a dream

(when he was 12 years old)

It was nothing he could build, only something he along with others of his kind could endeavor to elicit

and even then, it was only something he could find.

also, it was a device that only he could find

that was the the power of the device, that was what made is so special

and so powerful

what he did not realize when the dream of the device first came to him was that he'd have to decend into human wreckage, human refuse, a pariah in society, before he would be able to employ the device

before he would truly understand the device and the nature of the device