your word of the day

It's all about passion, boys and girls. And being passionate. Finding that passion for that particular thing -- whatever it is for you -- and holding on it. Feeding it.

That is all.

*

The three visual artists I was ever real friendly with (2 guys I used to run with and 1 girl who broke my heart all to pieces) were all kind of ruthless characters. Brilliant, charming and ruthless. Fucking Capricorns all. Probably not, but it sounds better that way. I speak to none of them now. I like to find them online though, from time to time, to see what they're up to (they're all still in the game, big time). Creepy, right? And pathetic. Taboo even, in a certain sense. I still admire them all, but I think it's very likely that all of them think rather poorly of me -- if they even think of me at all. For various reasons and causes that I'm not real proud of. The one guy, a sculptor, I'm afraid he might think I owe him money, back from a deposit on an apartment we once held (which in fact I might, but I mean... hell); the other guy, the abstract expressionist (but also a hell of a draftsman and also a hell of an opportunist), I was friendly with at that particular point in time when I went batshit crazy for a few days and some ugly drama ensued; the girl who aspires to paint like this guy, well, I tried to give her those paintings back, she insisted I keep them out of some misplaced sense vanity, and I subsequently wrecked 'em in a drunken fit of rage and self-immolating despair. Then told her all about it. Nice guy, huh? For all of that, we parted on better terms than could have been expected, but then a few years later I drunk dialed her a couple of times, and for that I am ashamed because it is LAME.

But to hell with all that. What guy aint done that a time or two? (If you say it's you, I say you're lyin'.)