if I could have put semen in or onto you and you

it might have made a difference to me and my public tonight

but you and you are irrevocably lost not even able to be found on Google

and my public

is largely illusory

and even more largely

at a previous engagement



and yet the problem is with my own head

my own heart

and that's what and who and why I'm yelling and at

a certain point I will simply cease to stop



I am he who hunched in black wool

and viewed under the yellow street lamp

and the smell of the East River that eternal river on your air

I am he

who looks for the slant of his incisor and the temporary bewilderment

of his eye

like nothing so much as a black German Shepherd

and were I such an athlete you could tell and not tell



somewhere is a man unfaithful to his wife

and somewhere is another opposite who's instead

always to his life guess

who I



am